Why goals are important and typical pitfalls ruining our success

Overcoming challenges and turning dreams into goals

I had not been actively aware of the importance of goal setting until a few years ago when I started thinking what I wanted to do next because I felt I needed a change; and recently I have learned more about the process while doing my coaching qualification.

Thinking some time ago, I would occasionally hear people talking about their 5/10 year life plans or what they want be/do/have next year, in 2 years etc. I used to be quite unsure about the concept of deciding what one can make happen in the long term and I generally really believed we cannot influence that much and that life happens to us. I was more growing up in the mindset of ‘don’t even rather imagine or count on nice things in the future, so you don’t jinx them’. I had no idea how much I was holding myself back.

Understanding the benefits of visioning, goal setting, imagination for designing a new reality can be transformational.

Being aware of how much more potential there is in all of us, how powerful yet simple tools we have available within ourselves and how we can work with them to support us, everything opens into new dimension, different perspectives, choices, possibilities and often magic and fun.

What does having goals, aims and intentions give us?

Having and following dreams and turning them into goals is really crucial if we want to take responsibility for our life. It is a very empowering approach as we get:

• Excitement and motivation

• Sense of purpose in everyday routine because we know why we are doing what we are doing

• Opportunity to create a life which works for us

• Higher likelihood of success as we focus our energy in the desired direction

• Abitlity to be creative and come up with new authentic solutions

• Increases confidence, courage and inner strength

An additional advantage is that also our subconscious mind (which can often be the trouble maker as it likes to run not always helpful patters in the background) also takes the goal as the focus so we are additionallly helping ourselves unconsciously to get where we want to be. Knowing your mind is really helpful.

SO WHY IS IT, THAT EVEN DESPITE ALL THE GREAT BENEFITS, WE MAY STRUGGLE TO SET GOALS AND STICK TO THEM?

Here are some common blockers and how to dissolve them.

1. NOT AWARE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF IT

I have already touched on how important this is above and will share more on this soon. To put it simply...

"If you don't have a destination in your mind, then quite logically, it is harder to get there."

We always get somewhere but if there is a particular place or point we want to get to, we need to know what it is in the first place and then take steps towards it.

2. LIFE IS TOO BUSY I have learned a big lesson on this one and you may find this is very common. Life just gets in the way. There is so much going on all the time, that we don’t take time to step away from the actual daily living and doing to look on our live from a wider perspective and check in with ourselves whether this is the direction we want to be going. Beware of this vicious circle because life can be busy all the time. The way out is to stop for a moment. Sit down with yourself and honestly look at you and things from a distance.

"When you create space between you and your life, then you can see it from a wider perspective, get more clarity on what needs to change and take life back into your hands."

If you are not in control of your life you are deliberately giving the control to others. You are giving up responsibility for your life and freedom of choice. This can put you in an undesirable place and make you wonder how you on earth you got there.

3. COMFORT ZONE AND STAGNATION Comfort zone is a sneaky one as it’s often easily overlooked because we are actually fine, or we seem to be, and feel no urge to change things.

And that’s great for a while. But comfort zone can soon turn into stagnation without even noticing and suddenly we may find ourselves stuck in a place which is not comfortable anymore.

Logically it should be easy to make a change to move forward but sometimes an unhelpful voice or fear can get in the way and hold us in thinking that staying in an unhappy comfort zone is better and safer than making a slightly uncomfortable/challenging step into a happier place. And the voice starts making really believable excuses to persuade us that we are actually ok.

Listen to it with a smile but don’t take it seriously.

"Notice when the comfort zone is staying for too long and start moving sooner than later. Keep trying new things, have new ideas, challenge yourself. Even small moves count a lot. What is your next step?"

When we feel some resistance to change and may have tendency to justify the way things are, that can be a hint and the right moment to go for it and embrace the change.

4. FEAR OF FAILURE Sometimes we don’t set goals, or set only small goals, because there is a chance we won’t reach them. So we rather don’t even try cause we might have learned that 'failing' is 'not good'. In essence there is no 'failing' or 'not good', these are just our labels to a situation.

"The chance of achieving something is much higher if you give it a try than if you stay where you are."

I believe that humans have inner need to grow, develop and improve so there is no other way than moving forward. So it only depends on how we choose to approach this - it can be fun, exciting and an adventure or long and painful if we keep resisting.

5. LIMITING BELIEFS There are lots of beliefs we often accept as a truth throughout our lives and we start believing them and living by them which can really narrow down our view on life and ourselves and limit us to within that view. Again, often completely unconsciously. I think we too regularly settle for the narrow, mistaking it for all there is, without being aware of another huge wide open window into a much bigger potential, choices and opportunities.

"Listen how you refer to yourself and others, and question everything. Is that really still true? Has it possibly changed?"

Once we become aware of our limiting beliefs we instantly become aware of the rest of the space and can tap into that new field.

6. LOW DISCIPLINE OR OTHER UNHELPFUL SELF PERCEPTION Sometimes we don’t set or achieve goal because we might think we don’t have a good discipline to follow things through. Or we might think we cannot get this or that because we are not the lucky ones.

These are just perceptions we have about ourselves and they are only true for as long as we believe them and hold ourselves in them. There are ways to transcend this. One simple is…

"Can you think of a time or situation when you proved great discipline or when you felt lucky? Why not stick that experience in your head as a truth instead?"

This will be far more supportive and helpful in setting up your next goal. You can choose which thoughts to follow.

7. FEAR OF SUCCESS This can sound like a strange one at first but I have heard and read quite a lot about on this and apparently it can be more common than a fear of failure. But basically it is another side of the same coin. If we (even without logically being aware of this) connect success with envy, jealousy, loneliness, sayings like ‘money spoils character’ etc., this can be very unhelpful and stopping us from flying high.

"So what can you connect success with? Perhaps personal purpose, making a difference, making dreams come true, sharing, kindness..."

Sometimes we might feel the huge potential and the fear keeps kicking in and we hold back instead of going into our full potential. When you notice that, it’s worth reminding yourself what fear sometimes can be…

It only takes that step into the unknown to experience the truth of this and enjoy the brightness on the other side.

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We all may experience some or all of the above occasionally, it’s completely normal and it is useful to be aware. Once we are aware they lose the power and we hold the power instead.

Ready to overcome your challenges and say YES to your dreams?

Download your Goals with Soul step by step guide and start straight away.

I believe you have a great gift to share.

Veronika

Veronika Sucha Personal Wellbeing and Business Coach

www.veronikasucha.com